Young Ladies, Listen to Me Carefully — A Humorous Take on NWNW ~ by rainebeaux [Support]

Young Ladies, Listen to Me Carefully — A Humorous Take on NWNW ~ by rainebeaux [Support]

These people are basically Crazy Uncle Larry (who doesn’t have one?) coming up with the bright idea–at the July Fourth barbecue, no less!–of holding a fireworks display IN THE LIVING ROOM

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note: rainebeaux is in the process of building here own blog.  Get your guts ready!)
Young ladies, listen to me carefully: 

Certain individuals online and off want to tell you that the OOW birthrate and
(UNMARRIED) single parenting aren't that bad, beating you over the head with the
frozen trout of exceptions--"my Mom's boyfriend's cousin's Pastor's adopted
daughter's professor's barber's niece is raising two kids by herself with a good
job, a side business, bakes cakes/pies for the homeless shelter [they won't tell you
that's where her babydaddy actually LIVES] and is just six credits shy of her
Master's degree"--in the process. 

These people are basically Crazy Uncle Larry (who doesn't have one?) coming up with
the bright idea--at the July Fourth barbecue, no less!--of holding a fireworks

Using said fireworks reserved for PROFESSIONALS.
With the windows closed.
And the A/C off.
In hella close proximity to every flammable substance/material known to man.
After stripping down to his 15-year-old BVDs and tube socks, dousing himself with
lighter fluid that he mistook for his water bottle.
Because he just sucked back three blunts, two shots of NyQuil, and a fifth [750ml
bottle for the skybox seats] of Johnnie Walker Red.
(What? Dude was hot and his smell was compromised by the six consecutive Newports
he'd smoked. Number seven is hanging out of the corner of his mouth now. *side eye*)
*click* *click* "Damn, I know damn well there's mad fuel in this [disposable]
lighter...I just got it today!" :snort:

.............<--Uncle Larry's look of perpetual surprise, made famous by blatantly
ignorant black folks--celebrities and civilians alike-- throughout the land...after
his muffled scream and before his ample frame becomes a stick of dynamite.  


Do you really want your future (and by extension, your figure) blown to bits by a
30-second screw and what is essentially a shaky/non-binding verbal contract!? Eff
what these people are talking about: the mouse that is having a child OOW WILL
explode! Believe me, this is Ms. Conductor talking; I KNOW what I'm talking about!
[5000 internets to the first person who correctly guesses the origins of BOTH of the
last two sentences....without Google's help! ^_^]

Let me tell you one very important thing these hypersensitive, (allegedly)
ballin'-out-of-control babymamas and their middle-class enablers of the Black
Intelligentsia won't:

In the most general, statistical sense, SINGLE PARENTING SUCKS. If you fall for
dude's lies IN THIS RAGGEDY ECONOMY, nine times out ten you'll end up like me, if
not worse off: perpetually pissed off (well, not so much now; just trying to move
forward), tired, and struggling. To put it even more bluntly, my daughter is a
second-generation bastard!* Man, I don't wish this unnecessary struggle on my
IMAGINARY worst enemy or any of you! 

*Yeah, yeah, I know most of you aren't too keen on that word. TOUGH. There's no more
room at the inn for hurt fee-fees, ego-stroking or PC talk! Too many black
girls/women and their dreams are dying unnecessarily over this high-octane

To wit, ladies, you do NOT want to star in this block of prime time! 

In summary: there's no sex in the champagne room and no future in having a
baby/babies OOW. You and your future kiddo(s)--who I'm guessing you'll go half on
with your future husband *smile*-- deserve better than this. guard BOTH of your
pocketbooks. Raise the drawbridge AND your standards. 

Rainebeaux Junior and I both thank you in advance.

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User Comments

  1. Lorraine
    September 29, 2010

    I could hardly concentrate on the seriousness of your message because I was laughing so hard. What a powerful message. Well done!


  2. rainebeaux
    September 29, 2010

    *blush* Thank you kindly, dear namesake…it’s a gift and the least I can do. :D


  3. Eugenia
    September 30, 2010

    In your humor and it was funny there is truth that many people need to hear. I wasn’t’ no virgin bride when I got married the first time, far from it. But the one thing I did know that when I saw some of the girls in my high school that had babies and the young women in my family and neighborhood with no involvement from the father I thought ‘good lord that looks effing hard.’ I’m lazy, I just am. I don’t try to sugarcoat it, I don’t like being bothered unless it has something to do with me. I’m almost forty now and about to get married again and when I see some friends with kids, raising them alone whether they were baby mamas or now divorced, most of the time the dad is half-ass about his involvement and giving her grief. I think I’m so glad I’m on birth control. I’m sure you love your child and she brings you joy and grief but it’s just easier when you got somebody there fighting with you, caring with you, loving with you and caring and loving for you. I hate to say this but I’m glad I don’t have kids, I see moms and they love their kids but the drama and work of being a single mother is something I wouldn’t ever want to experience. I made a choice in high school that I didn’t want children, I’m a type 1 diabetic so it would have been difficult anyway but not impossible. So I decided that I’d protect myself from being a baby mama, I already have a chronic disease why on earth would I stupid enough to allow someone to get me pregnant and not support me while I put my health and life and baby’s life on the line having a baby for knucklehead. I’m glad I made this choice, that’s what it was a concious choice is what I made. Nothing happens by accident, we always have a choice. I’m hoping to teach other young women to take theirs seriously and to critically thing about and use some wisdom.


  4. Bellydancer
    September 30, 2010

    Welcome Rainebeaux
    Girl don’t make me laugh hell even Celie (Color Purple) who could barely read knew you don’t put kerosene on a lit fire hence the empty rocking chair (lol) folks in the old days had some of their wits about em. Today you can’t say that.
    I was amused at the amount of single mothers who poured in with tales of their good kids who help them and went to college and have this and that like it always works out that way. One woman was on a site where she stated proudly “I decided to have my children and at least I wasn’t running to the abortion clinic” after having her first chid at 16 she then goes on to talk about women using abortion as birth control etc… waxing poetically about how good her kids were and that she had completed her bachelors degree and was going for her masters…. totally ignoring the fact that not everybody’s situation is going to come out smelling like roses.
    Like Eugenia I too suffer from Diabetes although it is Type 2 but I had already decided a long time before being diagnosed unless I met someone and got married I was not interested in having kids and then the disease made it all but impossible unless I am under doctors strict care a pregnancy is something I really don’t need to risk and try doing that with no hubby, unlike Halle Berry I do not have her bank account for the best medical care.


    • rainebeaux
      September 30, 2010

      Chile, I wanted so badly to write back: FOOL, SADDOWN; you’re not helping. AT ALL.

      Shoo. Let me get these drafts together so I can finally publish the unabridged version of this on my blog…


  5. foreverloyal
    September 30, 2010


    And Eugenia, I’m alot like you. Doing it all by myself is too much work and stress for ME. That alone would be reason enough not to be a single mom.

    Oh yeah, and it’s better for the kids too.


  6. Oshun/Aphrodite
    October 1, 2010

    Had to stop by and give you some support! Great article. Hysterically funny and so true. I hope that it helps someone see the light.