“The High Cost of Single Parenting: Anyone Surprised?”

“The High Cost of Single Parenting: Anyone Surprised?”

I wrote this post in my column on Madame Noire in response to recent Census data the once again, shows the high rates of poverty amongst single parents. “The High Cost of Single Parenting: Anyone Surprised?” I’m not. Yet ANOTHER article that tells more of the truth. Parenting a child without a contributing partner is [...]

Author : Christelyn Karazin

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Christelyn is married with four children.

I wrote this post in my column on Madame Noire in response to recent Census data the once again, shows the high rates of poverty amongst single parents.

“The High Cost of Single Parenting: Anyone Surprised?”
I’m not. Yet ANOTHER article that tells more of the truth. Parenting a child without a contributing partner is expensive. I’ve been there. Sometimes working 50 hours a week on top of paying for daycare, cooking, helping with homework, going to all the school events and being scared as “hayell” of what might happen if I ever lost my job. Ladies and gents, THIS. IS. NOT. IDEAL.

The idea of the “strong, independent woman” is a cruel myth when it comes to parenting. You can indeed be strong and independent on YOUR OWN, but once you throw in one or two kids, then things get complicated. Very complicated.

Yet, when I talk about these realities or they’re brought to the forefront, I often observe people becoming defensive and trying to justify every misstep they have made, and then saying idiotic statements like “I take care of my kids! They eat and wear Nikes!” As if that’s all it takes. Listen boo, whether you like it or not, want to hear it or not, children DESERVE the benefit of having BOTH parents present–financially, physically and emotionally. It boils down to simple math: 1+1=2. That’s two of everything–two salaries, two people to give attention to your child, two people to go to all the school events and sports activities (or at least take turns going), two people to prepare your child for the world so that the wolves won’t get to them first.

Spreading the word about this common sense with my own projects has sometimes been so disheartening, as people seem to not be able to look past their own vanity to see what is real. The social projects didn’t work. Whether you like it or not, kids deserve at least a fighting chance for success, and living below the poverty line is not conducive to that success.

Ladies, listen. You DESERVE a man (or woman if that’s your thing) who will be willing to be more than a sperm donor and then keep it moving. You are worth more than being a jump off, no matter what anyone tells you. You are entitled to a partner who is willing to be a provider and protector.

And men, don’t let the feminists fool you. Your presence is vital to the success of your progeny. And buying diapers once a month and taking your kid to Disneyland DOES NOT make you a good father, okay? Once you have a child, you might need to leave behind pipe dreams and learn the skills needed to support your family, because that’s what REAL men do.

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