Pathetic! More Challenging of the Truth by Folks Who Refuse to See the Obvious.

Pathetic! More Challenging of the Truth by Folks Who Refuse to See the Obvious.

Major African-American news outlets are participating in our destruction.

Author : Christelyn Karazin

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Christelyn is married with four children.

I caught wind of the University of Michigan study just released that reported 59% of African American women have more than one father for their children. With 73% of black children born out of wedlock, why is anyone surprised, much less defensive about this?

Before I continue, I am a mother with two different fathers for my four children. My oldest child has a different father than my other three.

The first thing I read from a black interest publication is an accusation that Michigan is somehow being racist and singling out black women for stating the obvious. Again, nobody, I mean, NOBODY is good enough to tell black people when their poop stinks. Not Barack Obama. Not Bill Cosby. And no census, study, research body will ever give us pause to change our behavior. It’s just easier to blame um…EVERYBODY…heck…ANYBODY but ourselves.

This kind of mollycoddling and denial is just disgusting. And it’s the reason we’re in such bad shape. So many of us feed off of being victims, and despite decades of evidence, we’re still sticking our fingers in our ears, covering our eyes, and shouting our mouths off instead of facing WHAT IS TRUE.

And the enabling of this attitude by high-profile African-American news publications does us a disservice, and makes me wonder if they truly have our best interest at heart, or if they just want to give victim hood-hungry readers more reason to continue suicidal behaviors for ad dollars.

Funny, but when statistics come out about how many black men are in prison, I don’t see black-interest news outlets questioning the validity of those studies, or that highlighting such facts is “picking on black men.”

And before I hear one more idiot say, “Well, white people do it too!” I think I’ll scream.  Only 22% of white women have multiple fathers.  Hispanic women, 35%.  Again, we eclipse the bunch by almost 60%.

If we don’t stand up and face the truth, we will be doomed.  So keep complaining and quibbling over stats while we all go to Hell, just so long as you don’t feel bad.

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User Comments


  1. NBC INC.
    April 2, 2011

    truth hurts!!!!

    Reply


  2. We humans never want to be blamed for what we bring! You are right-keep up the good work. It is sad that many don’t see we are trying to give them a better tomorrow.

    Reply


  3. CocoaFly
    April 3, 2011

    I understand your argument Christelyn. Like NBC said, the truth does hurt. But, I would like to stats on how many men have children with multiple women. The men need to look in the mirror when it comes to their sexual behavior as well. And women need to take a hard look at men’s sexual behavior too. Do you or anyone else think that black people would get defensive if a study on men and their multiple “babies’ mamas”?

    Reply


    • Christelyn Karazin
      April 3, 2011

      Oh heck yeah they would. They’d blame slavery. That’s usually the go-to excuse for that sort of thing.

      Reply


  4. LorMarie
    April 3, 2011

    As I said on facebook, if bw are tired of the negative statistics, let’s stop creating them. We have no one to blame but ourselves.

    Cocoa: I’m sure everyone knows at least one black man with multiple baby mamas. I have no doubt that there are many. If it’s lower than the number for black women that’s only because the black male population is lower.

    I hope that the constant hammering of negative stats will cause black women to make the necessary changes we need to make. We must teach our daughters not to travel the same road we did.

    Reply


  5. Bill Drew
    April 3, 2011

    Even a large number of NWNW facebook fans went deep into supposing statistical malfeasance. *Rolls eyes* I’m sure there’s some bit to that, but isn’t the main message still true? It’s a mess. Fight the mess. Don’t spin the mess.

    Reply


  6. Dareus
    April 3, 2011

    Ms. Karazin
    I have been trying to find the words to explain our plight as a people. Your comments summed it up pretty well. Without a doubt women control the output of babies in America. We are the laughing stock of the country and it appears that our day of greatness has passed. Men in this country can only do what a woman allows them to do.
    Every women out to give their child a fighting chance and give them responsible dad in the home. Leave the thugs and crooks alone and marry a law abiding, God fearing good man.
    God save us.

    Reply


    • Christelyn Karazin
      April 3, 2011

      Dareus, as a counterpoint, we need more MEN standing up and POLICING the bad behaviors of young black men. It is impossible for a woman to teach a man to be a man. Only you can do that.

      Reply


      • TJ Michaels
        April 4, 2011

        I agree with this. And while I was married when my children were born, my ex still walked away from us when my son was three. He is now 19 and has said, verbatim, “Mom, I know you’ve tried but it doesn’t change the fact that I have no positive black male role model. Colin Powell and Bill Cosby don’t count because I don’t know them. I can’t call them up when I need advice.”

        Now what?

        Reply


  7. Queen
    April 3, 2011

    ****DISCLAIMER******* Not excusing bad behavior, Not excusing bad behavior, Not excusing Bad Behavior. Not excusing bad behavior. Not defending bad behavior. Not defending bad behavior. Not Defending Bad behavior AD NAUSEUM!!!!

    There is no doubt that the irresponsibility and poor behavior in the BC is out of control, but I wonder the reason why some blacks use the “Whites do it too” defense is because lets face it when blacks and whites emulate the same irresponsible, bad behavior, they are not judged the same light, that is just the truth. So I think maybe they are tired it looking like bw are the only ones in the world with OOW births. I live in a hispanic neighborhood and I see a whole lot of OOW births. (DISCLAIMER, NOT DEFENDING THE OBVIOUS!!!!!!!) When Black girls get pregnant the statistics, negative articles, etc. is what we see and hear. When White girls get preggos, they get shows like “teen mom” “15 and pregnant” and “the secret life of the American teenager” the lifetime movie, “The Pregnancy Pact” etc. I am not saying we should keep doing this crap until we get TV shows too, I am saying is that the media GLAMS UP their stuff, Please do not tell me they don’t I work in the media and radio and I see what they do. Again I say this does not give us license to keep doing this STUPID S**T I just question why we are demonized the most for things that others are guilty of. is it just the numbers??? (Statistics)

    This does not excuse the destruction this type of irresponsibility brings, because it is hurting us in the end though “White people, hispanic people, etc. do it too” and we have to as LorMarie said teach our daughters to break the cycle. Not just with the OOW births but the poor behavior period. I do not know what is happening to us as a people and why we are choosing this destructive behavior. I have a cousin who had a full scholarship to college who dropped out of school, got pregnant by her boyfriend and is working at some low paying job. She just had her baby, a little girl and is still in “new mommy bliss” but I fear for my new cousin is she going to continue the trend? ( My cousins mother, now deceased, also dropped out of college with a full scholarship and had 3 kids by 3 different men) I could have strangled her! I was furious! So do know I understand the frustration that Chrys is talking about, the deliberate ways our people are snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with this stupid careless behavior and blaming other people in the process. Is there discrimination? yes! are unfairly judged in the eye of public opinion? sure,I see it everyday , but we have to own our s**t stop justifying it, rapping about it and putting rims on it, But we cannot help those who do not want to help themselves, so the next best thing is to distance ourselves from those who are hell bent on destroying themselves and others in the process.

    Reply


    • Torethamaliyah
      June 18, 2011

      I totally agree. No excuse will help. We, as a community and as individuals, must change our behavior AND work on the PERCEPTION of our behavior.
      The young lady posted above that her son thanked her for trying to raise him well, but the fact remains he has no positive (black) male role models that he knows. We ladies have to choose our men more carefully and we have to demand and support more representations of loving relationships in the black community as seen on tv, movies, etc. Not even Boris Kodjoe could get us to watch the short-lived Undercovers, starring a loving, married black couple! Without any examples of a positive path to walk, we are the blind leading the blind.

      Reply


  8. Dareus
    April 3, 2011

    Ms. Karazin
    I take the different approach as a man. While I give my only son guidance and any other young man who wants to listen, I focus on the young females. They need guidance from a different point of view. Sometimes they listen and do very well in life and some take the wrong path and live a less than desirable life. Since men do most of the approaching, it is up to the female to SAY NO. JUST SAY NO. If a man wants a certain woman bad enough he will adjust to HER HIGH STANDARDS. It is best that a child not be brought in the world under poor circumstances. It seems that everyone wants to make a business out of black folks foul ups instead of trying to prevent them in the first place. Remember it is the black man that is being locked up, not the black woman.

    Reply


    • Kam
      April 6, 2011

      On the contrary PLEASE focus on the males. PLEASE, because it will go in through one ear and out the other if a woman does it. We really need more Black male guidance for our young men.

      Reply


    • RenKiss
      April 7, 2011

      Yeah….place all the responsibility on the female. Let’s not teach males to take responsibility. Geez no wonder our community is screwed.

      Reply


  9. Sona Stew
    April 4, 2011

    As a feminist, I placed the blame firmly on women, we simply need to make better choices.Birth control is FREE. We fought for the right to control birth, so let’s exercise our right.I’m 31 and married without children, at no point in my sexual history did any man force me to go without protection, men are turned on by women who respect their bodies and futures.Having a vagina does not automatically give you the right to procreate.No one gets pregnant by mistake, the minute you have sex you have successfully set the stage to get pregnant, so plan accordingly.Sure marriage doesn’t fix all, because a divorce can occur, but its better to come in with a good hand than no cards at all.

    Reply


    • butterflylawyer
      June 27, 2011

      I totally agree, marriage doesn’t fix everything but at least go into it with a commiment and with someone who wants children and wants to be a father.

      Reply


  10. RenKiss
    April 7, 2011

    Thank you,

    Is there something in our community that makes us not want to use any type of contraception or practice abstinence? Seriously, I know there’s a deeper problem here, but honestly the OOW births would decrease if people would start using contraception. What’s so d@mn hard about wearing condom, taking a pill everyday at the same time, or just simply not engaging in sexual activity? It’s not that difficult.
    SMDH

    Reply


  11. Mr Laurelton Queens
    April 9, 2011

    Dear Chris

    I like the comments and some of your readers here. For black women to have kids by different daddies. It is pretty obvious this is one of the reasons why the marriage rate is so low for black women. I think men are reluctant to marry a black woman with “children” by a previous man.

    Basically, there is shortage of men with resources in general that is fueling this. That is not exclusive to black women only for the record. There is a shortage of white men with resources or you would call an “ideal man” for any woman.

    I read an article by a college white girl that has to compete with other women over her college white boyfriend. Essentially, she implied that she lets him cheat or something like that. She said the competition is fierce. I think it was a NY Times article about women outnumbering in college.

    The reason I bring this story up is because black women are under a certain amount of pressure to get things done. Most black women want a family and kids. So when these conservative white men say “why do poor or struggling people have kids”? First off, who are you to dictate when a woman should have child. Now the rich should just have children? That is another argument in itself.

    People seem to forget the “dynamics” of a relationship. If a black woman enters a relationship with “another man” and it gets SERIOUS. There is a strong possibility the man wants her to have a child. DESPITE, the fact she might 1 or 2 children already.

    People like to talk on blogs like they don’t live in the real world! I have had my share of serious relationships with black women. There was always a “prego” scare, I can say maybe 1 black woman I dated was adamant about not getting pregnant. That was only because she was in Law School. To be honest with you, you could still “make it happen” if you are persuasive enough with a black woman! People seem to overlook the “emotions” of a woman. That is the fundamental weakness of “women”. They can easily get “enthralled” with a man they like. It is not far fetched a child might come along. We call that in the animal kingdom “being in heat”.

    If that black woman SAYS “well I don’t want anymore children”. UNLESS, that man has kids of his own, he might decided to leave the relationship down the road or just leave in general. It is a double edge sword for some black women.

    You don’t have another kids, he is leaving your ass. If you do have “more kids”, he still could leave you depending on the situation. This generation of men, unfortunately, run away when things get hard in relationships.

    I can admit men are partly to blame for this epidemic with black women. There is a certain amount of “urgency” to get your woman prego. Your family and friends “influence it”. I don’t think it is “as frowned” upon like a decade ago. There is peer pressure and family pressure for a black woman to have a kid regardless of “other children’ she had previously.

    People seem to forget this. EVEN in the black church! You can have 2 kids by different men right. You can marry the “third man” and people in the church will say “when is the baby coming”. Marriage is a cure all for everything she did wrong in the “past”. This subject gets more scrutiny because so many black women ARE NOT MARRIED.

    In conclusion

    I think its a good thing to have children. I think the black community needs a “baby boom” badly. It would be ideal to have a “man around” as a role model for the kids. Even if he is around “part time”. He could even be somewhat “inactive” as a father. As long as a “male” is around that is a good thing.

    I know people are going to say that is crazy. Actually my Phd Sociology Professor came up with that theory and I studied it. I was surprised how just a male presence was important (providing the male is not an abuser and negative). The mere presence of a male was influential. I will REPEAT IT AGAIN,. The mere presence of a male is INFLUENTIAL.

    I worked in a class room with third graders and really never said too much for a year. The kids would straighten up. I tell them to do something (the male boys). They would do it. The black male teachers I observed “commanded the respect of the classroom”. The boys would run wild in the female led classrooms. I would be in recess playing sports and the boys flocked around me. Its a funny thing being a “coach” is the most important job in a school system if you ask me. Kids without ‘fathers”, coaches is the closest thing to an authority figure next to a ‘step daddy or male relative”.

    Its not so much women have kids by different men. It is about having a “stable man” willing to stick it out with a black woman! Even if he does not make “a lot of money”. You can keep the black woman and her kids out of “poverty”. I think people are focusing too much on what happened in the past with her and previous men.

    Mr Laurelton Queens

    Reply


  12. Iamme73
    June 29, 2011

    You are misusing that statistic severly. First that study in Michigan didn’t say 59% of all black women have children by multiple fathers, because 43% of black women aged don’t have any children.
    Heck, that study doesn’t even say that 59% of all black mothers have children by multiple men because that leaves off all of the black mothers who only have one child which is 19% and therefore those women can only have had children by 1 man.
    In fact the study only references those black mothers who have had multiple children. It says that 59% of those black women have multiple dads for their children. Which means over all 27% of black women fit that description. Which means over all 73% of black women don’t. Please get a deeper understanding before discussing stats and mislabeling black women in that manner

    Reply


  13. rRob
    July 8, 2011

    Hey – just wanted to drop a line and say it’s really refreshing to hear someone take the problems on head-on instead of getting caught up in whose fault it is and all of that. Playing the blame game certainly makes things feel better, but it will never fix the problem.

    Reply


  14. Rosabella
    September 13, 2011

    I live in Michigan, and I can tell you, honestly, that this study is dead on! One only needs to venture into any neighborhood in the city, and there are women, young women, with multiple children by multiple fathers. These women have children, selfishly, by men who are unavailable , unwilling, or unable to care for their children. Men who are “baby daddies” to multiple children themselves, and do not or cannot be a father to all the families they have created. Some sperm donors leave their seeds all over the city, and the children don’t know anything about daddy or siblings. You can only imagine the problems that will arise when they all come of age, knowing nothing of each other. Tragic!

    Reply