1 Debra J. Dickerson: So You Increase the Black Marriage Rate. So What?

Debra J. Dickerson: So You Increase the Black Marriage Rate. So What?

“You’re anti-feminist!” “No, you are!” “You’re an Uncle Tom for making this a black issue!” ” You reprinted my post without permission!” Meanwhile, the prospective newlyweds schtup along, unaware and unperturbed, while the pixels fly.


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0 Counterpoint to Slate Article: All forms of birth control are less expensive than an actually having a kid.”

Counterpoint to Slate Article: All forms of birth control are less expensive than an actually having a kid.”

So what gives? If black men and women have access to all this ‘female-controlled’ and male-controlled contraception, then why aren’t they using them effectively at the same rates as whites or Hispanics?


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0 The Necessary Conversation: Birth Control

The Necessary Conversation: Birth Control

But more doesn’t mean always. I suggest that the most underdiscussed factor in all this is that the demand for female-controlled contraception like the pill—which is easier to be consistent with than condoms—isn’t being met.


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0 Criticism: Exception Proves the Rule?

Criticism: Exception Proves the Rule?

FatJuicyOyster I don’t want to write a post about the online initiative started by my girl Christelyn at Beyond Black and Whitecalled, No Wedding No Womb, which calls for women to get married before having children, and barring that being “wedded” to the two-parent raising of the child. But here goes… I can get down [...]


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1 Straw arguments against NWNW, separating myths from facts

Straw arguments against NWNW, separating myths from facts

Black In the Bay State – Fly, Fabulous and Fed up Changing the black perspective one entry at a time straw arguments against NWNW, separating myths from facts Myth – Your husband will beat you. Your kid is better off. Fact – If you pick a good husband in the first place, you don’t have to [...]


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0 NWNW COVERED in San Francisco Examiner!

NWNW COVERED in San Francisco Examiner!

Recently, black journalist and blogger Christelyn Karazin started an online campaign called “No Wedding, No Womb!” (NWNW) calling for “both MEN and WOMEN to put the needs of children first, and advocates that couples abstain from having children until they are emotionally, physically and financially able to care for them.”


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0

Black In the Bay State: “Fatherless hoodrats are invading my neighborhood: Thank you Section 8″

Why do we allow society to rob us of our identity? We are fundamentally different from men and those differences are what make us women. By stripping us of that femininity and not actually granting us any male privilege, we are essentially being dehumanized.


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29 Shock, Sadness, Then Joy. Part I

Shock, Sadness, Then Joy. Part I

This past week has been a rollercoaster for me.  While launching what could be the biggest and most important social activism I might ever be a part of in my lifetime, I have sat as both particpant and observer in all the fray and ruckus around this movement.  I have witnessed people come together who [...]


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0 Pioneer Valley Woman: “Getting Back to the Basics”

Pioneer Valley Woman: “Getting Back to the Basics”

“Getting back to the Basics” by PioneerValleyWoman Today is my birthday. I am a member of “generation X,” that age cohort of Americans born between the late 1960s and the 1970s. It seems that the older members of this group of African Americans alive today were the last ones to experience marital parenting as the [...]


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0 Courage Network Joins In Support for NWNW Against Domestic Violence

Courage Network Joins In Support for NWNW Against Domestic Violence

Lyn Twyman Courage Network There is a difference between being a single parent by choice and being a single parent by “accident”. Those who have chosen to be single parents engage a support system of family, friends and access resources in their community to provide an environment that is nurturing to their children. The African-American [...]


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0 NWNW Supporter and Member of Arrested Development, Jason “jjboogie” Reichert, Gives Touching Appeal

NWNW Supporter and Member of Arrested Development, Jason “jjboogie” Reichert, Gives Touching Appeal

If you’re on Twitter and following the #NWNW hashtag, chances are you’ve seen Jason Jjboogie Reichert, guitarist for the hit group, Arrested Development. He reached out to me on Facebook this morning as a result of his disallusionment regarding some of the negative comments about this movement.  Here is what he said: I put this [...]


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5 Ten Reasons I needed my Daddy!

Ten Reasons I needed my Daddy!

1.  To show me unconditional love. My father was a strict and stern man, but he always let me know that I would always be loved by him no matter what I did.  I was always secure in this, and never questioned if I would be accepted in my home. 2.  To be a friend.  [...]


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0 Jara: “Dear Deadbeat Dads, I Believe You Can Change”

Jara: “Dear Deadbeat Dads, I Believe You Can Change”

Almost daily, I hear someone express the opinion that people don’t and can’t change. Well, I disagree. It’s never too late to stop being a deadbeat dad.


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0 Video: Still Think Boys Don’t Need Fathers?

Video: Still Think Boys Don’t Need Fathers?

This 12-year-old boy lives with his grandmother. *cough* Not. His. Parents. *cough*


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0 (Open Forum) Reasonable Criticism of NWNW

(Open Forum) Reasonable Criticism of NWNW

I am an advocate of the traditional family structure as what I consider the strongest form in which children may be raised. I thought this was a simple position to hold but being a man that is in this constant state of flux regarding the implications of his words, I immediately took issue with the word “traditional”


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1 Mollie Hemingway Reviews NWNW Campaign (Open Forum)

Mollie Hemingway Reviews NWNW Campaign (Open Forum)

Now, I could imagine people protesting that the movement doesn’t go far enough — that it should encourage people to get married before they have sex, not just before they have children. But I didn’t imagine people arguing that the movement is simple “slut shaming.”


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1 My Solution for “No Wedding No Womb” ~ by Nikki and The City [Support]

My Solution for “No Wedding No Womb” ~ by Nikki and The City [Support]

I work in a housing project in Chicago. I witness a lot of things that grieve me. Since when is it okay to blast “You Gone Think I Invented Sex” with your little children in the car singing along? With the help of the media we are subconsciously planting seeds in our child that has major effects on them.


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0 When Supporting a Cause is Cause for Self Examination ~ by Ana Hodges-Gazawi of “Quiskaeya” [Support, 2nd  Essay]

When Supporting a Cause is Cause for Self Examination ~ by Ana Hodges-Gazawi of “Quiskaeya” [Support, 2nd Essay]

“So, Ms. Gazawi. Tell me about No Wedding No Womb (NWNW) and why you joined this movement.” The therapist asked without lifting his head, as he continued to scribble away on a notepad in his lap.

“Tell me what has joining this movement revealed to you about yourself?” The therapist asked in a slow, demure manner as he lifted his eyes in my direction and held my gaze for a moment, before returning them to the notepad.


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0 Advice to Young Girls: Don’t Get Pregnant ~ by blackgirlgrown [Support]

Advice to Young Girls: Don’t Get Pregnant ~ by blackgirlgrown [Support]

It is tough enough in this world alone, even harder as a child raising a child. Protect yourself. These days sex is more about life and death, and less about trying not to get pregnant. You have two choices: don’t have sex or don’t have unprotected sex.

Somehow, wanting our young girls to wait until marriage to improve their own chances of survival, a future, and an eventual family when the time is right can be considered downright heresy.


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0 Ranting and Raving ~ by Jennifer Catura Hornsby, 17, of “Half Past Dope” [Support]

Ranting and Raving ~ by Jennifer Catura Hornsby, 17, of “Half Past Dope” [Support]

The black community is on code red right now. We can no longer afford to be in denial about the problems affecting our community, any of them. But luckily for us that Christelyn Karazin felt the obligation to her people to pick a problem out the hat and begin a movement. Whether you are down for NWNW or not to deny that the break down of the black family is not a problem in our community is ludicrous. Our community in this country has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. And in this day and age we can no longer point to slavery or white people as the sole reason for our downfall. No, now there is nobody to blame for the strife in our community but us. We progressed more after slavery under Jim Crow then we have in the last forty years. We have been slowly backsliding into the abyss of self-inflicted genocide.


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0 Remove Grasshoppers from Your Social Networks ~ by Khadija Nassif of “The Sojourner’s Passport” [Support]

Remove Grasshoppers from Your Social Networks ~ by Khadija Nassif of “The Sojourner’s Passport” [Support]

The grasshopper died because of his foolishness in early versions of the fable. In real life, grasshoppers are generally allowed to destroy themselves. More sensible creatures (the “ants”), don’t have the time, resources, or energy to waste on fools.


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8 No Wedding, No Womb, NO WAY ~ by Erika Parker (a.k.a. focsimama) of “Focsi Mama Speaks” [Criticism, Open Forum]

No Wedding, No Womb, NO WAY ~ by Erika Parker (a.k.a. focsimama) of “Focsi Mama Speaks” [Criticism, Open Forum]

to make generalizations and through around statics without framing or contextualizing them is irresponsible and detrimental. i understand that something needs to change within us all, as a community, but sliding back into history to shame and ostracize single mothers is not the answer.


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3 BlackAmericaWeb Says Ending Black Fatherlessness Should Be a Priority [Support, Open Forum]

BlackAmericaWeb Says Ending Black Fatherlessness Should Be a Priority [Support, Open Forum]

Bishop Eddie Long, a mentor for young boys, had a “ritual” for them declaring them his “spiritual sons” in which his “children” got necessites and goodies at the horrifying price of submitting to him sexually.


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8 Young Ladies, Listen to Me Carefully — A Humorous Take on NWNW ~ by rainebeaux [Support]

Young Ladies, Listen to Me Carefully — A Humorous Take on NWNW ~ by rainebeaux [Support]

These people are basically Crazy Uncle Larry (who doesn’t have one?) coming up with the bright idea–at the July Fourth barbecue, no less!–of holding a fireworks display IN THE LIVING ROOM


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6 Sign #123 of the Apocalypse!!! — Me and Ann Coulter Agree on Something! [Relevant Video, Open Forum]

Sign #123 of the Apocalypse!!! — Me and Ann Coulter Agree on Something! [Relevant Video, Open Forum]

WOWOWOWOW. Just proof that the NWNW message works. We may not all agree on EVERYTHING, but some of us realize the fatherless problem in the black community is killing us. Segueing from her stance against gay marriage *sigh* to illegitimacy in the Black family, Ann lays it out for Marc Lamont Hill and the Larry [...]


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0 So You’re Ready For Another Kid? Well Where’s My Diamond?!?!?! ~ by @CindasMommy of “Uncommon Sense” [Support]

So You’re Ready For Another Kid? Well Where’s My Diamond?!?!?! ~ by @CindasMommy of “Uncommon Sense” [Support]

Before you decide to become a baby mama/daddy, remember it’s a whole lot It’s easier to send Junebug and his F-stricken report card to the other room for his daddy to take care of than it is to call his daddy Tyrone to help him come get his shit.


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0 Saving the Black Family from Destruction ~ by Anson Asaka of “New Possibilities” [Support]

Saving the Black Family from Destruction ~ by Anson Asaka of “New Possibilities” [Support]

Ultimately, we need a social revolution. Unfortunately, for many young black men, marriage is frowned upon. As reflected in today’s mainstream rap music, the pimp and player are glorified. Black male promiscuity is celebrated and the sisters are reduced to sex objects. That mentality promotes selfish individualism and perpetuates the destruction of the black family.


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0 The Easy, Sexy Silence of Privilege ~ by Kismet of “Nuñez Daughter”  [Criticism, Open Forum, Solutions]

The Easy, Sexy Silence of Privilege ~ by Kismet of “Nuñez Daughter” [Criticism, Open Forum, Solutions]

Unfortunately, over the course of the last week, the conversation grew increasingly vicious. Twitfam were getting blocked and swarmed, misconstrued and misunderstood. The vitriol came from both sides (Note to Self: Is “Google it if you want to” the new “Meet me outside”?) and none of it is fostered productive and healthy debate.


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0 Fear’s Grip ~ by Ben LaRiviere (a.k.a. loser078) of YouTube [Relevant, Video]

Fear’s Grip ~ by Ben LaRiviere (a.k.a. loser078) of YouTube [Relevant, Video]

No commentary from me, except that I LOVE Rachmaninoff’s The Rhapsody, I walked down the aisle to it.  Special thanks to NWNW participant, Jennifer Vaughn for finding this.  Makes for an interesting discussion, don’t you? Conjures all sorts of criticisms about women’s sexuality, even has a mildly violent scene. I wouldn’t recommend watching this around [...]


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2 What’s the Real Motive Behind “No Wedding, No Womb”? ~ by Bené Viera of “Writing While Black” [Criticism, Open Forum]

What’s the Real Motive Behind “No Wedding, No Womb”? ~ by Bené Viera of “Writing While Black” [Criticism, Open Forum]

“[Christelyn is] a mother of four children–three of them biracial–and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.” Hmmm. Now why would she need to profess to the world that three of her four children are biracial, and her husband is white?


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0 “There are these things that prevent pregnancy. I forget what they are called.” — A Hilarious Take on NWNW ~ by reverend­drdash of “Watch Me Yule” [Support]

“There are these things that prevent pregnancy. I forget what they are called.” — A Hilarious Take on NWNW ~ by reverend­drdash of “Watch Me Yule” [Support]

I deplore dialog, unless of course it involves my genitalia confabulating with some vagina. Excessive Vagina Dialog in the Black community has led to a high percentage of out of wedlock births. The excuses reasons for this situation like its consequences are legion. I have decided to interject my two cents and some sense into this #NWNW movement. There are these things that prevent pregnancy. I forget what they are called. The name of them is on the tip of my tongue…


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13 Follow Up … Tackling a Problem ~ by Black Girl in Maine [Support, 2nd Essay, Open Forum, Let’s Discuss Solutions!]

Follow Up … Tackling a Problem ~ by Black Girl in Maine [Support, 2nd Essay, Open Forum, Let’s Discuss Solutions!]

In some ways to merely say get married is a rather simplistic response to a rather real and serious problem. One of the questions being tossed around in the twitterverse after this online blitz has been what do we do next? In order to answer that question though and truly come up with meaningful solutions I think we must go back and look at what are the issues that have brought us to the point where the vast majority of African American children are born out of wedlock.


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0 A Non-PC Look At The Negative Impact Of African-American Single Motherhood ~ by Faith Dow of “Acts of Faith In Love & Life” [Support]

A Non-PC Look At The Negative Impact Of African-American Single Motherhood ~ by Faith Dow of “Acts of Faith In Love & Life” [Support]

Women may give birth to but cannot raise boys to manhood. What often happens in the black community has become the new normal but it’s an aberration. Due to the lack of protection many young girls are at serious risk. It’s one thing for an adult couple to be together but there are too many instances where the abandoned “woman” is barely 18 and the male who moved on is a good decade or so older. The women tend to be hardest on their own gender hence the phrase, “raise you daughters but love your sons”. It’s the epitome of reinforced sexism where the males are prized just for breathing and the females are told to prepare for “life”. Nothing will break the cycle when there’s no accountability, no acknowledgment of the huge imbalance and no reparations.


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24 You’re Married to a White Man! You’re Not Qualified to Lead! — My Reply to “Advocacy for the Self-Inflicted Genocide of a Stolen People?” by ggSpiritWrites [Criticism, Rebuttal, Open Forum]

You’re Married to a White Man! You’re Not Qualified to Lead! — My Reply to “Advocacy for the Self-Inflicted Genocide of a Stolen People?” by ggSpiritWrites [Criticism, Rebuttal, Open Forum]

Here is my comment from this post. I guess I should really thank these people for martyring me. Anyone in their right mind can see through this. Here’s the problem with your arguement about me and my husband (by the way, is so low a blow that I can’t even tell you) his ancestry did [...]


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4 Responsible Writing, Stereotypes, and Data ~ by April Joyner [Criticism, Open Forum]

Responsible Writing, Stereotypes, and Data ~ by April Joyner [Criticism, Open Forum]

[Note by CHRISTELYN] –> “My goal is to keep this debate honest. I don’t not wish to silence critics, but I think those who read someone’s INTERPRETATION of the NWNW movement should have the benefit of seeing both sides. I’m really, really trying to keep this fair. The conversation has gotten too important to suppress. Remember folks: If 72% of your house was burning down, would you ask for a program, argue statistics, or propose a study on how it started? If you possess the survival instinct, you would run like hell, or FIGHT like hell to put that fire out because that house means so much to you. Period.”


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0 What I Like About NWNW ~ by Kola Boof [Support, Comments]

What I Like About NWNW ~ by Kola Boof [Support, Comments]

What I LIKE about this movement is that it sends a very strong message to “young black girls” that their lives have value & worth
–and more importantly–that THEY should be the ones to demand/attach that value & worth.



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21 G.D. of “PostBourgie” Labels NWNW As “Anti-Feminist” [Criticism, Open Forum]

G.D. of “PostBourgie” Labels NWNW As “Anti-Feminist” [Criticism, Open Forum]

There are reasons besides the push’s barely masked antifeminism to be ambivalent about this whole endeavor. The movement has the stunty feel of holding funerals for “nigger” or stomping on hip-hop CDs (‘member those?) with explicit lyrics; it’s taken a tricky issue and reduced it to a bunch of folks being showily indignant.


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0 LeBron James and His Would Be Daddy ~ by Renee of “Womanist Musings” [Support]

LeBron James and His Would Be Daddy ~ by Renee of “Womanist Musings” [Support]

While I believe that the onus of this movement once again places the responsibility on women to bring about social change through the exercise of restraint, the idea that Black men need to own their responsiblities and stop making babies that they don’t intend to raise, is something that resonates with me.


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0 Thoughts on NWNW: Time to Address the Problem ~ by Trevor Hamm of “trevhamm.com” [Support]

Thoughts on NWNW: Time to Address the Problem ~ by Trevor Hamm of “trevhamm.com” [Support]

Martin Luther King said, “One of the sure signs of maturity is the ability to rise to the point of self-criticism.”


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18 Why No Wedding No Womb Doesn’t Work ~ by Jamilah Lemieux (a.k.a. Sister Toldja) of “The Beautiful Struggler” [Criticism, Open Forum]

Why No Wedding No Womb Doesn’t Work ~ by Jamilah Lemieux (a.k.a. Sister Toldja) of “The Beautiful Struggler” [Criticism, Open Forum]

I understand the spirit of what NWNW is attempting to do: restore dignity to Black women and create better living conditions for Black children. These are noble goals. However, even with evidence that married persons may have greater inroads to class mobility and a stable lifestyle and that children raised in two parent households tend to fare better than those of us raised by single parents…marriage alone can’t restore dignity to Black women or guarantee a better life for Black children. Furthermore, there is an anti-feminist moral code that is implied here that doesn’t sit well with me.


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4 PR Watch: Bad Time for No Wedding No Womb ~ by @WhyMeLawd of “Media Strut” [Criticism, Open Forum]

PR Watch: Bad Time for No Wedding No Womb ~ by @WhyMeLawd of “Media Strut” [Criticism, Open Forum]

Media Strut mediastrut.com For those who don’t know, No Wedding No Womb is a movement started by Christelyn D. Karazin and Lorraine Spencer to encourage responsible relationships and parenting (broadly speaking). Karazin is now married but spent some time as a single mother and has stated that she wishes she’d made some different choices in [...]


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0 I Cannot Defend or Condone Foolishness ~ by Flaming_star of “Single Girl in the Weird World” [Support]

I Cannot Defend or Condone Foolishness ~ by Flaming_star of “Single Girl in the Weird World” [Support]

You know as a woman of principle I cannot stand behind and defend or condone foolishness. And the tweets to the person who’s started this movement, Christelyn Karazin, have been more than ridiculous, they should be down right criminal. How anyone could defend birthing a child into this world without two parents in stable and loving household (and I don’t care if they are hetero and homo-sexual) is just shameful.


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1 OOW Births: A Strategic Disadvantage from a Health Perspective? ~ by Adwoa Boahene of “The K Dossier” [Event Post]

OOW Births: A Strategic Disadvantage from a Health Perspective? ~ by Adwoa Boahene of “The K Dossier” [Event Post]

My thesis is simple: out of wedlock births pose a strategic disadvantage for communities of color which translates into serious health consequences for women and their children.


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0 Whose Body Is This: A Statement on “OOW Births” in the Black Community ~ by Afua Boahene (a.k.a. smelodydiva) of “Conversations With My Sisters” [Event Post]

Whose Body Is This: A Statement on “OOW Births” in the Black Community ~ by Afua Boahene (a.k.a. smelodydiva) of “Conversations With My Sisters” [Event Post]

Some girls say, “If I give it up, boys will want
me.” Many girls were “looking for love” in all the wrong places, saying things like“ I don’t feel good about myself, “I don’t like myself,” or “I don’t feel pretty and that’s why I do it.”


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0 Fellas, Put a Ring on It Before You Start Making Babies ~ by Amani Channel [Event Post]

Fellas, Put a Ring on It Before You Start Making Babies ~ by Amani Channel [Event Post]

So what are my thoughts? People…. we have to do better. I like to think beyond color lines, but the problem is undeniable. The streets are raising too many of our young kings, and without a strong family unit the numerous problems that plague black communities (high drop out rates, high incarceration rates, etc.) will persist.


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3 Leaving the Burning House ~by Shecodes [Event Post]

Leaving the Burning House ~by Shecodes [Event Post]

What if your partner who was lying in bed with you looked you straight in your face and said: “What flames? What smoke? The problem is not that bad. Go back to sleep.” … all the while you clearly smell your hair getting singed by the overwhelming heat of the tongues of flames that were disintegrating your headboard… What would you do?


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0 Black Women — Devil’s Advocate: Are Black Males Real Men? ~ by Betty Chambers (a.k.a. GoldenAh) [Event Post]

Black Women — Devil’s Advocate: Are Black Males Real Men? ~ by Betty Chambers (a.k.a. GoldenAh) [Event Post]

Which brings me to this point: why mess with a male who statistically is predisposed not to marry, provide protection, bring resources to the relationship, offer support, or bother to raise his own children? Jill Scott may wince at “brothas” who are marrying non-black women, but she willingly had a child for one with a I-Am-Irresponsible neon sign over his head.


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1 Open Letter to a Young Black Lady Thinking About Having Sex ~ by Carmen Dixon Rosenzweig of “All About Race” [Event Post]

Open Letter to a Young Black Lady Thinking About Having Sex ~ by Carmen Dixon Rosenzweig of “All About Race” [Event Post]

I still remember how delicious it feels the first time a boy you like, likes you back…and seems to like you best. You feel seen, you feel understood, you feel all womanly and urgent. And that’s why it’s so important that every boy and man you date, understands that what YOU NEED to make it in this world, is to not get pregnant young. www.allaboutrace.com


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0 “I Grew Up a Fatherless Child…” ~ by Cherilyn Smith of “Black Women Deserve Better” [Event Post]

“I Grew Up a Fatherless Child…” ~ by Cherilyn Smith of “Black Women Deserve Better” [Event Post]

Yes, I overcame numerous hurdles which have developed my resilient and resourceful character, but at what cost? When is the price too high? Some fatherless children can and do go on to do awesome things. (Note: SOME!) The tragic reality which plagues a majority can no longer be ignored. Disproportionate numbers of fatherless children are the walking wounded.


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0 He Blinded Me With Science: Are Serial Moms Chemically Hooked on Sex? ~ by Cherryl Aldave of “Heavy Mentalist” [Event Post]

He Blinded Me With Science: Are Serial Moms Chemically Hooked on Sex? ~ by Cherryl Aldave of “Heavy Mentalist” [Event Post]

Lisa doesn’t know as she basks in the after rays of their lovemaking is, that chemicals released by her own body have made her a ready target for repeating the pattern that’s already left her a single mother–twice.


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0 A Message from a First Time Father ~ by Citizen Ojo of “The Desultory Life & Times of a Public Citizen” [Event Post]

A Message from a First Time Father ~ by Citizen Ojo of “The Desultory Life & Times of a Public Citizen” [Event Post]

… “just because you come from a single parent home doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. But based on research, children have greater odds of success if they grow up in a two family household (i.e. mother and father in the home).”


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0 “When was the last time anyone has told you, that it is all for you” – Maya Angelo ~ by CM Whitener of “Your Boyfriend’s Best Girlfriend” [Event Post]

“When was the last time anyone has told you, that it is all for you” – Maya Angelo ~ by CM Whitener of “Your Boyfriend’s Best Girlfriend” [Event Post]

Who told you that you should be alone in this world without stability? Who told you that you are nothing more than a breeder? Who told you that you don’t deserve love and to have it everlasting? Who lied to you and said you are not worth it? Do not believe them. yourboyfriendsbestgirlfriend.blogspot.com


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0 Parents, Children Need to Dream a Bigger Dream ~ by Danielle Belton of “The Black Snob” [Event Post]

Parents, Children Need to Dream a Bigger Dream ~ by Danielle Belton of “The Black Snob” [Event Post]

My mother taught me about sex when I was nine-years-old. Nine. Years before my first period or puberty. Years before I was interested in having sex. Years before peers and television would try to feed me misinformation.


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1 Don’t Be Desperate and Dumb by Falling for the Baby Momma Okey Doke ~ by Deborrah Cooper of “Living the Single Life” [Event Post]

Don’t Be Desperate and Dumb by Falling for the Baby Momma Okey Doke ~ by Deborrah Cooper of “Living the Single Life” [Event Post]

Yeah, I know 75% of Black children are being raised in single parent homes. And lots of the young women having babies now are represented in that sad statistic. So you might think that since everyone else is doing it, it’s okay for you to do, too. One thing I learned from my parents is to never ever do anything just because other people are doing it. Why? Because most people are stupid, and if you follow blindly after them, you’ll end up being stupid too.


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0 We Must Stop Teaching Our Sons to Sow Their Wild Oats ~ by Fred Goodall of “Mocha Dad” [Event Post]

We Must Stop Teaching Our Sons to Sow Their Wild Oats ~ by Fred Goodall of “Mocha Dad” [Event Post]

Dads are quite focused on protecting their precious little princesses from unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and heartbreak caused by some silly boy. Almost every father with daughters that I know plans to purchase two items: a shotgun and a chastity belt. The shotgun is to intimidate his daughter’s suitors. If the gun doesn’t scare off the boys, then the chastity belt will be the next line of protection. But when it comes to their sons, many men refuse to hold them to the same standard of sexual purity.


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0 My Thoughts: A Cycle That Needs to Be Stopped ~ by Jamie Fleming of “for colored gurls” [Event Post]

My Thoughts: A Cycle That Needs to Be Stopped ~ by Jamie Fleming of “for colored gurls” [Event Post]

Like I said before, I think this is a huge issue. Before I go any further I want to mention a couple of things: I don’t knock any woman who makes the decision to be a single mother if she can afford to and is capable of caring for the child (a lot of women want children but don’t want to wait for marriage because of their age– I get that), but I don’t think that’s the case for most black women.


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2 Sista, Stop Settling for the Sperm ~ by Jenee Darden of “Cocoa Fly” [Event Post]

Sista, Stop Settling for the Sperm ~ by Jenee Darden of “Cocoa Fly” [Event Post]

We all know the sista who settles for the sperm. She’s working the register at JC Penny and making moves at JP Morgan. She’s our girlfriend in love with the guy who isn’t ready to settle down. But she gives her womb and heart to him anyway. She’s the neighbor who takes out her frustrations from her past mistakes on her child. “You no good just like your daddy!” www.cocoafly.com


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0 A New Statistic: You’re Not the Exception ~ by Jennifer Vaughn (a.k.a. Aoide-Melete-Mneme) of “à la mode de les Muses” [Event Post]

A New Statistic: You’re Not the Exception ~ by Jennifer Vaughn (a.k.a. Aoide-Melete-Mneme) of “à la mode de les Muses” [Event Post]

Girl, it’s time for a reality check. The “it” in “It can’t happen to me” happens all the time. Pretending it won’t is the worst defense. Here’s an alternative strategy: Hold your ground.


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1 The Days of The Oops ~ by Jimi Izrael [Event Post]

The Days of The Oops ~ by Jimi Izrael [Event Post]

When I read articles blaming black men for the rising tide of single mother births, I never see the schematics of the solar-powered, remote controlled leg-opener black men are given just after puberty that compels young black ladies to spread their legs.


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0 In China It Is Illegal to Have a Child Out Of Wedlock ~ Jo Gan of “Life Behind The Wall” [Event Post]

In China It Is Illegal to Have a Child Out Of Wedlock ~ Jo Gan of “Life Behind The Wall” [Event Post]

This traditional way of thinking use to be OUR way of thinking, not so long ago. I can still remember my grandmother telling me, “the best birth control was an aspirin, hold it between your knees.”


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0 Thought Provoking Perspectives ~ by John T. Wills [Event Post]

Thought Provoking Perspectives ~ by John T. Wills [Event Post]

After slavery ended and freed people were subjected to the immoral practice of segregation; the African American society was the envy of all other cultures because they married, stayed together and family was the unity that was their salvation. The parent’s main function was the survival of the children they reared. It was necessary for our culture to value this concept in order to survive the wickedness of the cruelty imposed upon our people by law. If not for this foundation and parental guidance it could have been a death sentence for their children. This commitment, often times, is missing in the parental responsibility within many quarters of our community to which our ancestors would be appalled.


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0 Juliana Norwood of OurWeekly Newspaper Endorses No Wedding No Womb! [Opinion, Event Post]

Juliana Norwood of OurWeekly Newspaper Endorses No Wedding No Womb! [Opinion, Event Post]

Juliana Norwood, staff writer for OurWeekly I personally feel that the level of baby-mama/daddy-ism is in the African American community is truly a tragedy. I completely agree that there are many different reasons why these situations occur, such as many socioeconomic factors, but I believe it is far beyond the time that we start putting more weight [...]


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0 Baby by You? No Thanks! ~ by Keshia Robertson (a.k.a. crush’ed) of “a crush a day ♥” [Event Post]

Baby by You? No Thanks! ~ by Keshia Robertson (a.k.a. crush’ed) of “a crush a day ♥” [Event Post]

At twelve I looked old enough to be a mother even without having kissed a boy. Throughout all of my teen years I looked old enough to be a mother because young black women every day are becoming mothers.

Over 70% of black women, girls younger than me, my age, older than me, the girl who use to do my hair was I was younger, my old best friend, elementary classmates—all of these women are mothers now or will be mothers at some point—single mothers.


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1 NWNW Isn’t About Bashing! ~ by Kimberly R. Woods [Event Post]

NWNW Isn’t About Bashing! ~ by Kimberly R. Woods [Event Post]

Before folks think the No Wedding No Womb movement is about bashing black single parent families, I want to present another informational gem…


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1

What If You Could Pick Your Parents? ~ by Kris Johnson [Event Post]

Try to imagine yourself as a child. If you could have planned your own origins, what family would you choose? It’s almost guaranteed that you’d pick a doting, father with an impeccable reputation. A protector, a man who takes care of his family, a good man. For a mother, you may pick…


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0 Do Better By Your Children! ~ by Lauren Bailey of “Lola Gets…” [Event Post]

Do Better By Your Children! ~ by Lauren Bailey of “Lola Gets…” [Event Post]

Just think about it, don’t you value your unborn children? Don’t you
think your future progeny deserve to have the best life possible? So,
if you have high standards for the lives of your future children, you
should have high standards for the father of these children as well!


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0 A Letter to Smart and Strong Women of All Colors, Hope, and Longing ~ by Dr. LeslieBeth Wish of “Love Victory” [Event Post]

A Letter to Smart and Strong Women of All Colors, Hope, and Longing ~ by Dr. LeslieBeth Wish of “Love Victory” [Event Post]

This advice is based on my research about strong women and love. My interest began when I was a child and was raised by a woman whose love saved me. Her name is Daisy, and she is an African-American-Cherokee woman who taught me to hold back my kisses until the right boy came along.


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5 Marriage Is the New Poop Word ~ by Lisa Mason [Event Post]

Marriage Is the New Poop Word ~ by Lisa Mason [Event Post]

Heaven forbid that you “offend” single mothers or suggest that it’s better for a child to have two good parents instead of one.


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0 Single Mom by Choice Says, “Baby Mammahood Must Cease!” ~ by LorMarie [Event Post]

Single Mom by Choice Says, “Baby Mammahood Must Cease!” ~ by LorMarie [Event Post]

First I need to declare that I’m an unapologetic SMC. For those of you unfamiliar with this acronym, it stands for single mother by choice.


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3 The OOW Problem Has Morphed Into Black-on-Black Crime ~ by Martin Lindsey [Event Post]

The OOW Problem Has Morphed Into Black-on-Black Crime ~ by Martin Lindsey [Event Post]

No more lynch mobs performing murder and mayhem on us for public entertainment. No, we’re way past the culture of the Roman Coliseum in America. In contemporary society we are breeding our own guaranteed generational curse.


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0 Why Marriage? ~ by Nisa I. Muhammad of “Marriage, Please”, Founder of Black Marriage Day [Event Post]

Why Marriage? ~ by Nisa I. Muhammad of “Marriage, Please”, Founder of Black Marriage Day [Event Post]

Isn’t it interesting that the Black woman is the only woman touting her strength with pride? Why doesn’t the Latino woman have to be strong? Where is the strong Asian woman? What about the strong Caucasian woman? Why does the Black woman have to be strong? Why can’t she just be a woman?


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0 NWNW! Not a Blame-Storm or a Shame-Storm, but We’ve Got Some Work Ahead ~ by Brooke Brimm, Editor of “Love’s Gumbo” [Event Post]

NWNW! Not a Blame-Storm or a Shame-Storm, but We’ve Got Some Work Ahead ~ by Brooke Brimm, Editor of “Love’s Gumbo” [Event Post]

This is very hard for us to talk about. It’s so hard that we have made a tough heart-wrenching situation into one to be celebrated. We wave a banner, we shout it from the mountain tops, we sing little ditties about it, and we high five each other on Father’s Day. Single-motherhood is a hard and heavy crown to wear.


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0 No Wedding, No Womb: No Decisions, No Success

No Wedding, No Womb: No Decisions, No Success

In my opinion, the decision making process when it comes to planning for a family is gone. Babies kind of just happen before we make conscious decisions that we want to spend the rest of our lives with someone else.


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1 The Strong Black Woman… ~ by Ana Hodges-Gazawi of “Quiskaeya” [Event Post]

The Strong Black Woman… ~ by Ana Hodges-Gazawi of “Quiskaeya” [Event Post]

“I AM their father! I AM their mother! I AM all they need! They don’t need that good for nothing bastard!” A strong black woman would shriek in my office at DCF in such a loud manner her voice could be heard bellowing through the halls. A strong black woman in corporate America was far more demure, but would display much the same mannerisms whilst explaining “What can he do for my children? He can’t even maintain a job. What kind of father could he possibly be to them?”


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3 Single Motherhood — An American Crisis ~ by Rev. Raymond C. Dix, Jr. [Event Post]

Single Motherhood — An American Crisis ~ by Rev. Raymond C. Dix, Jr. [Event Post]

Single mothers do not become so without the activity of males. Of course, many single mothers trusted the words of love from the father of their children. These men are too often unemployed or underemployed, not able nor willing to care for, nurture or lead a family. At the news of pregnancy, as if startled, these brothers run. They may not vacate physically, but they often detach themselves from all emotional and financial support of the women they impregnate.


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0 Free Lesson #23: Sex Causes Pregnancy! ~ by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb [Event Post]

Free Lesson #23: Sex Causes Pregnancy! ~ by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb [Event Post]

I know you’re asking how do you know if he’ll marry you if you get pregnant. Two things, you watch his behavior and you ask him. Men that already have children outside of marriage are to be avoided at all costs. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. If he didn’t marry that woman why on earth do you think he’ll marry you?


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0 Dear Grandpa: A Legacy of Commitment ~ by Salima Singletary of “On My Mind” [Event Post]

Dear Grandpa: A Legacy of Commitment ~ by Salima Singletary of “On My Mind” [Event Post]

I worry about the future of Black Americans. I worry that our professional, financial and political gains–generations of effort– will be undone by personal recklessness. www.foreverloyal.wordpress.com


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0 “Crack the Code” ~ by Shellie R. Warren of “ ‘On Fire’ Fast Movement ” [Event Post]

“Crack the Code” ~ by Shellie R. Warren of “ ‘On Fire’ Fast Movement ” [Event Post]

Shellie is an Author and Public Speaker. Her books are “Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption” and “Pure Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Integrity”. Her websites are: http://xxxchurch.com/gethelp/women/ “On Fire” Fast Movement ________________________________________________ A couple of nights ago, I was talking to a male friend of mine. (Again single ladies, get some platonic [...]


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0 Sisters, Why Are You Throwing Away Your Value? ~ by Sophia Angeli Nelson of “I Am My Sister’s Keeper” [Event Post]

Sisters, Why Are You Throwing Away Your Value? ~ by Sophia Angeli Nelson of “I Am My Sister’s Keeper” [Event Post]

I think it is time we stopped making excuses and turning a blind eye to what has truly become a moral crisis in the black community. Iaskblog.com


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0 A Womb Is Not a Tomb ~ by @Soulful1 of “Post-Racial: Millenium 2100″ [Event Post]

A Womb Is Not a Tomb ~ by @Soulful1 of “Post-Racial: Millenium 2100″ [Event Post]

All I want is the coochie, I aint lookin to get married. Ladies, if you feel the same as I do, then let’s get it on and quit playin. However, if you desire to find a mate for life, giving it up every Saturday night isn’t going to win you many wife-material points. You gave up your sexuality for free, I suspect you do that for anyone with a car, drink, and a motel room.


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0 Is the Black Community Facing a “Baby Daddy” Epidemic? ~ by Stephanie M. Watts of “The Sauda Voice” [Event Post]

Is the Black Community Facing a “Baby Daddy” Epidemic? ~ by Stephanie M. Watts of “The Sauda Voice” [Event Post]

It’s not much of a guess because the evidence is all around us. Each day we step foot outside our doors we see it. On the street. In the supermarket. In the park. On the playground. In our very own families. Women. Black women. We are the overwhelming majority of those caring for and raising black children. Alone. I ask you, family. Why?


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0 That Doggone Blue Pill … ~ Tia Thomas of “The World of Miss Glamtastic” [Event Post]

That Doggone Blue Pill … ~ Tia Thomas of “The World of Miss Glamtastic” [Event Post]

Everywhere we turn, we are getting force-fed red pills, especially when it comes to the huge number of children born out-of-wedlock (OOW.)


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0

NWNW Promo ~ by Tim Alexander (a.k.a. ScreenTime on YouTube) [Video, Rated R for Language, Event Post]

“In my usual edgy fashion, I took it upon myself to delivery and heavy-handed message for those of you who like it hard. Just keeping it real, ya’ll! Warning: If you don’t like cussing, don’t click it!” –Tim Alexander, creator of the upcoming film “A Mother’s Love” and from the film maker who brought you “Diary of a Tired Black Man”


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1 Why Do Children Need Their Fathers? ~ by TJ Michaels [Event Post]

Why Do Children Need Their Fathers? ~ by TJ Michaels [Event Post]

Why do we put more planning into our next vacation than we do in planning our families? And why are we willing to accept less than what we want when it comes to ‘the ring’? The answer- because black women are fed the “you’re not worthy of a good guy” crap from a young age. It’s rare that black girls, in general, are made to feel special. www.tjmichaels.com


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0 A Father Reflects on How His Wife and Daughter “Make It All Work.” ~ by Torrey Spears [Event Post]

A Father Reflects on How His Wife and Daughter “Make It All Work.” ~ by Torrey Spears [Event Post]

“…all of the fantastic memories over the past three years came rushing to my head. From the dirty diapers and late night feedings, to dressing up in nylon crowns and toasting plastic spoons while playing “tea party with the King and Princess”. Memories that will stay with me through her scholastic years, her endeavor into the world, and when she blesses someone with her love and begins her own family.” www.torreyspears.com


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0 First-Hand Witness of Emotional Trauma ~ by Vanessa Jean Louis of “Afroconservative” [Event Post]

First-Hand Witness of Emotional Trauma ~ by Vanessa Jean Louis of “Afroconservative” [Event Post]

Many of us in the blogosphere (from different political persuasions) are writing in tandem about this issue as a result of the deafening silence from the media, academics, and so called “Black leaders” who refuse to acknowledge the pernicious psycho-social effects on children who are a product of unwed motherhood.


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0 The Backbone of Black America Is Now Speaking ~ by Vonmiwi Culvera of “Divalocity™” [Event Post]

The Backbone of Black America Is Now Speaking ~ by Vonmiwi Culvera of “Divalocity™” [Event Post]

How long will we wait for the government and our elected officials to have the courage to speak out on the self-annihilation of the family structure?


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0 Stop Living in the Day to Day and PLAN ~ by Vonnie of “Socialite Dreams” [Event Post]

Stop Living in the Day to Day and PLAN ~ by Vonnie of “Socialite Dreams” [Event Post]

Why is there no outrage at the lack of accountability for black men and their responsibility for their offspring? When will it all stop being glossed over or swept under the rug, or worse yet, completely blamed on the women?


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