No “Wedding”, No Womb? What about Queer Parents? ~ by Arielle Loren [Event Post]

No “Wedding”, No Womb? What about Queer Parents? ~ by Arielle Loren [Event Post]

No Wedding, No Womb? You mean No Heterosexual Wedding, No Womb.

Author : Arielle Loren

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Arielle is a Sexuality Writer and Marketer, and her websites are:

Arielle Loren

L Media House

The Bi-deology Project


No Wedding, No Womb? You mean No Heterosexual Wedding, No Womb.

I challenged NWNW founder Christelyn Karazin on this very issue when she asked me to pen something for her online social blitzkrieg. Indeed, she may have never considered it, but how can lesbian and gay couples be asked to marry for their children’s sake, when same-sex marriage is illegal in the majority of the United States.

No Wedding, No Womb my ass.

Christelyn, being an awesome listener and open thinker, heard my concerns about this wedlock movement being too heteronormative. She encouraged me to write a piece on queer parents and how commitment could serve their children much better.

More and more same-sex couples are adopting and having children without being married. It’s truly not their fault, but it is important that we stress the importance of committed relationships for the welfare of children. It has been proven time and time again that children need stability and preferably two married parents. While we wait for the rest of the country to adjust their ignorance and remove discriminatory regulations against same-sex marriage, I encourage queer parents to make the effort to stay together if they’re going to bring children into their family. Once the laws are repealed, I hope they join the NWNW movement, marry, and set an example for their children. In the meantime, there’s also an option for a civil union even though I recognize it’s not the same. I encourage you to continue fighting for equal marriage opportunity and not settle for the common prejudicial argument for “separate but equal.”

My ancestors, primarily slaves, had a similar issue with this government. For centuries, they were not allowed to marry or protect their families. Yet, once the laws were repealed, they ran to find their love ones and tie the knot. They recognized the importance of legal and spiritual commitment to love for the benefit of their families and the community. I encourage same-sex couples to follow suit, even if you’ve lived so long without proper marital recognition.

While NWNW preaches marriage as the ideal for all couples, the core of the messaging lays in preserving commitment and respect within relationships. Additionally, the hub of NWNW doesn’t simply apply to unmarried persons; it should also encourage people to work within their marriages to drop these skyrocketing divorce rates. There’s no point in encouraging people to marry before having children, if they’re just going to divorce soon after. Be committed to each other, your children, and building a cohesive family.

I recognize that not all parents will stay together. Life happens, but we should all make the extra effort to try and stay committed for the welfare and strength of future generations. That being said, no one or two parents can teach it all. Children need to feel the influence of various role models, across different gender spectrums, in order for them to grow into respectful, tolerant, and productive citizens. Boys need men, women, and transgender people as examples. The same rule applies for girls. If our children are to understand the complexities of the world, we must teach them and provide examples.  Young girls especially need numerous female role models, in the same way young boys need multiple male examples. Heterosexual and homosexual parents cannot teach it all.

Make the best of your relationship, parenting, and children. Put forward the extra effort for our kids. Don’t just stay committed, but expose them to knowledge on the rest of the world.

Don’t take this movement at the surface, explore the deeper concepts. No Wedding No Womb is better for the future and creating a stronger community.

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