Isis The Blogger: The Unexpected outcome of Motherhood

Isis The Blogger: The Unexpected outcome of Motherhood

I had a full term pregnancy without any complications besides an unstable
relationship. When my son was born he was not responsive, although he looked like a normal, healthy baby; there was something going on in his brain that I would not fully understand until later.”

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Isis The Blogger

Single parenthood is not something a young woman should have as a goal. When becoming a parent you have to think about all the things you are setting in motion for someone else’s life. While there are some who say “Well, I did just fine on my own.” Kudos to you, but just think how much easier it could have been with a partner to share in the joy, pain, love, stress, and future of this child that has been born. When I became a mother at 20, I believed I had the world figured out. While I had planned on going to film school, other choices sent me down a different path. The path that followed lead to a surprise that I was not prepared for.

In the ideal setting we would all like to raise our children in a household with a solid foundation of two loving people.  When a woman becomes pregnant she is often asked “Do you hope the baby is a boy or a girl?” Some women say which gender they would prefer, and some say they just want a healthy baby. Well I wanted a healthy baby boy. Unfortunately things would not turn out as planned.

Motherhood is something that you can never fully prepare for and there is no manual that explains how to deal with all of the ups and downs of a disabled child. Just imagine being a single mother to a disabled child. I have lived this version of adulthood every day for the last nine years, alone.  When a baby is growing inside of your body; you can never fully know what those chromosomes are doing until the baby comes out.

I had a full term pregnancy without any complications besides an unstable
relationship. When my son was born he was not responsive, although he looked
like a normal, healthy baby; there was something going on in his brain that I
would not fully understand until later. My baby was born with Hypopituitarism (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypopituitarism/DS00479), which means his pituitary gland was not producing one or more of the necessary hormones that the body needs to function.

The emotional devastation I felt can’t even be put into words. A newborn
baby with a rare disorder, what do you do as a single mother? Figure it
out.  Over the last nine years I can’t begin to count the amount of times we spent a week or more in the hospital due to low blood sugar or the common cold just attacking his body. As a mother to a child with a disability I had to learn quick, I had to learn how to give a pill, liquid medication, a daily injection, and check blood his blood sugar; all while trying to adjust to the schedule of a newborn that had to eat every  hour to maintain a normal blood sugar.  At the same time I was attending school and working. Life with my child was quite the adjustment, I had gone from carefree adult to overwhelmed mother overnight.

It was very hard trying to stay employed while my son was young and his health was unstable. I lost a few jobs because he had episodes that required hospital stays, and when a child is sick in the hospital and under a certain age, a guardian has to be present at all times. When you’re a single parent…..you’re the only guardian. It comes down to making the choice between going to work or dealing with Child Protective Services because you left your child unattended at the hospital. It would have worked better if I had another half to even out the responsibilities. You can have the best support system in the world to help you with your baby including your family, friends, co-workers, etc. In reality, everyone in your support system has to go to work, school, and take care of their own. At the end of the day nobody is going to replicate the support the right partner can provide for you and your child.

I am very grateful that my son is now nine years old with stable health. In the moments when I am alone and thinking about life sometimes I wonder about the questions of the future like:

Where’s my father?

Why was I born this way?

Why doesn’t he call?

What happened?

I realize no matter how hard I work, what I achieve for us, what he achieves in life or how much tuition I pay for his education, those are questions that will have to be answered when the time comes. The likelihood that I will be the only one providing those answers is definite. Think about the bigger picture before you lay down with someone without using a condom and it doesn’t matter if you are on birth control or not, besides STD’s there is always the possibility of pregnancy.

Although most babies are born just fine, yours could be in the percentage that isn’t as healthy as the rest.  Single parenthood is already difficult, and there is always that possibility that a disability can make it that much harder.

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