My daughter is only 6 and she has already told me several times about what’s going to happen when she has a baby. Clearly, some little girls start being in love with the idea of family sooner than others. When my baby girl starts talking about babies I take the opportunity to introduce her to the idea that babies should come from planning and be born into a loving, two-parent, married home.
One day my daughter and I were talking and she one again brought up the baby issue. I told her to remember what I said: she has to get married before having any babies.
She looked at me and said something to the effect of, “But what if I don’t get married, can I still have a baby, like you did?â€
I paused. I hadn’t been expecting that question and I wasn’t quite sure how to answer it.
I took a deep breath and told her that Mommie loved her very much, but that I wanted her to make better decisions than the ones I had made. I said that I didn’t want things to be as difficult for her when she had a baby as they were for me when I had her. So, although I wasn’t married when I gave birth to her, I still expected her to get married before she had any kids of her own; I also said that before I could give her any baby brothers or sisters I would have to be get married too.
She seemed to understand what I was saying and didn’t question me further.
I know that with each conversation I have like this with my daughter I’m reinforcing the message that I expect her to make decisions than the ones I’ve made. I want my daughter to know that family–the two-parent kind–still hasn’t gone out of style.
