Herb Way: It’s NOT all right just because “everybody” is doing it!

Herb Way: It’s NOT all right just because “everybody” is doing it!

Herb Way, official #NWNW photograph contributor

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We suffer from a crippling disorder that has normalized baby mama/baby daddy in the Black American community and has become the cornerstone of the disadvantage that most of our children face. Something is terribly wrong when baby mamas and baby daddies outnumber husbands and wives and the sanctity of the conventional nuclear family has become a distant memory. As a community, we took a giant step backward when we removed shame from the conversation of out-of-wedlock pregnancy and childbirth.

I find it especially disturbing that most of out-of-wedlock pregnancies are not really unwanted. We need to look at the pathology and its societal causes, at how so many women have such low self-esteem that they feel that their validation must come from making babies. As much as I hate to agree with conservative social and political commentator, Ann Coulter, I’m totally with her when she calls for an end to the exaltation of single motherhood. My belief is that, for the most part, any woman who consciously and deliberately gets pregnant and bears a child out of wedlock is
committing a selfish act and is ultimately guilty of a form of child abuse. And forget the argument that it’s all right for you to do it because you’re over 30 and have a good education, a good job, and a supportive family. Where are you coming from morally?

There are many selfish, irresponsible, misogynistic men who look for weak women to prey on and many of them procreate multiple children by multiple women and then abandon responsibility for their offspring. Most of these men were, themselves, born out of wedlock and raised by single mothers. The cycle feeds on itself and these parents, unfortunately, fail to see that they’re, very often, doing little more than creating the
inmates who will fuel the prison/industrial complex or become the cannon fodder for this country’s future military incursions.

I’m proud to lend my voice to the cause of reversing the normalization of baby mama/
baby daddy and I don’t care who I upset. It’s time for us to cure ourselves of the
insanity.

Herb Way

http://www.herbwayphoto.com/ , http://www.facebook.com/herb.way.photography , http://www.facebook.com/portraits.of.eve

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