Bekki Davis Keller, blog writer of “The Big Red Circle”
To those who highly object to NWNW and call it a stupid idea, I have to wonder if you have been following what NWNW has been doing long enough to call the founderâ€™s idea “stupid”? It is more about commitment to a relationship and not having meaningless relationships with people, producing children and not living up to the responsibility of taking care of your family. I believe that you are entitled to your opinion but calling something stupid and judgmental because they want to promote relationships that are healthy for families is very judgmental in my opinion.
Christelyn and people like myself that support the message she is putting out there want the madness to stop when it comes to women having children and are not in a committed relationship and we understand it to be married or otherwise. I don’t care what anyone says it is EXTREMELY hard to raise a child alone and it is not the responsibility of the female or her family to do this without the father present. If you can make a baby you can take care of it as far as I’m concerned.
I have lost count of the number of people that I have dealt with professionally and personally who got into relationships and have children with no father present in the picture. I will even go as far as to say that in some cases the mother is not there as well and the grandparents and other relatives are left to raise the children. This familiar story is becoming far too common.Â Â Many have listened to a grandparent trying to make it on their retirement income and stress about if they will be healthy enough to raise their grandchild. Because in most cases, there isn’t another family member willing to take the children if something happens to them. So if you think that having a baby is just about the man and the woman (or young girl), think again. More and more children are being raised by family members everyday because their parents become incarcerated, addicts or simply walk away from their responsibility.
Not only that as a result of the lack of support for these families the mothers and children are seriously limited to what they can do with their life because now the support the kids need to grow into healthy mature adults and to survive in this world is not there. The mother and or family members are left raising a child in most cases with no father present and on public assistance because the financial burden of taking care of the child on one income if any, is just too much. And I won’t begin to go into the emotional impact of not having one or both of your parents in your life.Â Â I’m sure many of us can relate to that.
This has become a multi-generational problem that needs to end and if Christelyn is willing to put in the effort to try and save as many people from making the same mistake, then more power to her. Because I will tell you that most of the women that I have had to deal with have told me that all though they love their children they wish they had waited to have them when they were ready. Unfortunately it isn’t until after they have their child and the reality of raising it alone hits them like a ton of bricks. Do we need to discuss the rise in infant mortality rates among young single mothers? If this cause can save one child from being born to parent(s) that are not ready to be one yet, then I say GREAT JOB to Christelyn and the work she is doing!
Again, no one is saying that you have to be married. So I donâ€™t understand why people keep saying that. This is about being committed to the person you have kids with and committing to your children. Yes marriage is the ultimate commitment to make but there are families that don’t have married parents but are committed to raising their kids the best they can TOGETHER and there is not enough of that happening. It’s about teaching our children that having sex and not living up to the responsibilities that come about as a result, is whatâ€™s wrong.Â Â The realities of having a child go further than just your house, it affects many regardless if the parents are together or not.
In addition, this isn’t about growing up “normal” either. Having a “normal” childhood is gone for most kids of today. They have to contend with so much more than we did as children. Parents today have to be extra careful because people are literally looking to take your children from you as soon as you step outside. Itâ€™s a scarier world out there and children need ALL the support they can get and it should start with BOTH people who created them.