“I recently, did a program on my talk radio show about â€œWhy are our babiesâ€¦having babiesâ€? We barely had anyone call in for comments. I most certainly was perplexed by the notion that weâ€™ve become so de-sensitize by this epidemic that no one thought it was an issue!”
I had a full term pregnancy without any complications besides an unstable
relationship. When my son was born he was not responsive, although he looked like a normal, healthy baby; there was something going on in his brain that I would not fully understand until later.”
NWNW is highlighting the reality of the obscene numbers of African “American out of wedlock births resulting in fatherless households. Too many fatherless kids fail, go to jail and have horrible lives. Stop talking about slavery stop blaming the white man go help raise your kids. Your excuse is not an excuse anymore!”
“The facts are clear. The children of marriage parents do much better on nearly every scale of health, education, wellbeing and more. Marriage is the best environment to raise children. Marriage is where men and women can be all they want to be with the help and support of a caring spouse.”
My scream-out-loud moment came when I saw that a staggering 59% of African American women with multiple children had multiple fathers (National Longitudinal Survey of Youth: University of Michigan Institute for Social Research. Date of publication unavailable). My immediate thoughts were, can we go any lower? have we hit rock bottom? are we there yet?
Look at the data. Out-of-wedlock pregnancies are a broad spectrum problem across most demographic groups. It has real ramifications for family income levels, educational attainment and more. As an investor, one of my goals is for the average family to be as successful and financially independent as possible. The pregnancy crisis threatens that goal.
Few of the women connected their poor choice of partner with identifying with their mother, so you are not alone if you are surprised, too, with the lack of success in your love life. Itâ€™s hard, after all, to really leave home completely, and becoming even a little like your mother is one way of keeping her close.
I was hardly happy when I was told I was going to have a child. In fact, I nearly had a panic attack. My stomach tightened. My mouth dried out. My heart pounded out against my rib cage and I didnâ€™t think there was enough air in the world to fill my lungs. For a second I began to hallucinate that I was asleep dreaming that I was awake.
HEY GIRLS, LISTEN UP — YOU HAVE A CHOICE Veronica Miller @veronicamarche http://veroniiblog.blogspot.com/ I was 15 years old. It was September, school had just started back up, and a classmate (Weâ€™ll call her Vanna), was asking me if my boyfriend and I were still together. â€œYep,â€ I said. â€œStill together.â€ â€œEven through the whole summer?â€ [...]
All along, I was thinking that there must be something wrong with us as a group if we can seriously consider shooting ourselves in the foot like this by promoting single motherhood. There is no shame in single motherhood. Let me repeat that for you really dense people out there: There is no shame in single motherhood. Itâ€™s not a matter of shame. It is a matter of people advising others against taking a risk that usually does not work out well.
Black In the Bay State â€“ Fly, Fabulous and Fed up Changing the black perspective one entry at a time straw arguments against NWNW, separating myths fromÂ facts Myth â€“ Your husband will beat you. Your kid is better off. Fact â€“ If you pick a good husband in the first place, you donâ€™t have to [...]
“Getting back to the Basics” by PioneerValleyWoman Today is my birthday. I am a member of “generation X,” that age cohort of Americans born between the late 1960s and the 1970s. It seems that the older members of this group of African Americans alive today were the last ones to experience marital parenting as the [...]
If you’re on Twitter and following the #NWNW hashtag, chances are you’ve seen Jason Jjboogie Reichert, guitarist for the hit group, Arrested Development. He reached out to me on Facebook this morning as a result of his disallusionment regarding some of the negative comments about this movement. Â Here is what he said: I put this [...]
I work in a housing project in Chicago. I witness a lot of things that grieve me. Since when is it okay to blast â€œYou Gone Think I Invented Sexâ€ with your little children in the car singing along? With the help of the media we are subconsciously planting seeds in our child that has major effects on them.
â€œSo, Ms. Gazawi. Tell me about No Wedding No Womb (NWNW) and why you joined this movement.â€ The therapist asked without lifting his head, as he continued to scribble away on a notepad in his lap.
â€œTell me what has joining this movement revealed to you about yourself?â€ The therapist asked in a slow, demure manner as he lifted his eyes in my direction and held my gaze for a moment, before returning them to the notepad.
It is tough enough in this world alone, even harder as a child raising a child. Protect yourself. These days sex is more about life and death, and less about trying not to get pregnant. You have two choices: donâ€™t have sex or donâ€™t have unprotected sex.
Somehow, wanting our young girls to wait until marriage to improve their own chances of survival, a future, and an eventual family when the time is right can be considered downright heresy.
The black community is on code red right now. We can no longer afford to be in denial about the problems affecting our community, any of them. But luckily for us that Christelyn Karazin felt the obligation to her people to pick a problem out the hat and begin a movement. Whether you are down for NWNW or not to deny that the break down of the black family is not a problem in our community is ludicrous. Our community in this country has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. And in this day and age we can no longer point to slavery or white people as the sole reason for our downfall. No, now there is nobody to blame for the strife in our community but us. We progressed more after slavery under Jim Crow then we have in the last forty years. We have been slowly backsliding into the abyss of self-inflicted genocide.
I deplore dialog, unless of course it involves my genitalia confabulating with some vagina. Excessive Vagina Dialog in the Black community has led to a high percentage of out of wedlock births. The excuses reasons for this situation like its consequences are legion. I have decided to interject my two cents and some sense into this #NWNW movement. There are these things that prevent pregnancy. I forget what they are called. The name of them is on the tip of my tongueâ€¦
In some ways to merely say get married is a rather simplistic response to a rather real and serious problem. One of the questions being tossed around in the twitterverse after this online blitz has been what do we do next? In order to answer that question though and truly come up with meaningful solutions I think we must go back and look at what are the issues that have brought us to the point where the vast majority of African American children are born out of wedlock.
While I believe that the onus of this movement once again places the responsibility on women to bring about social change through the exercise of restraint, the idea that Black men need to own their responsiblities and stop making babies that they don’t intend to raise, is something that resonates with me.
You know as a woman of principle I cannot stand behind and defend or condone foolishness. And the tweets to the person who’s started this movement, Christelyn Karazin, have been more than ridiculous, they should be down right criminal. How anyone could defend birthing a child into this world without two parents in stable and loving household (and I don’t care if they are hetero and homo-sexual) is just shameful.
Some girls say, â€œIf I give it up, boys will want
me.â€ Many girls were â€œlooking for loveâ€ in all the wrong places, saying things likeâ€œ I donâ€™t feel good about myself, â€œI donâ€™t like myself,â€ or â€œI donâ€™t feel pretty and thatâ€™s why I do it.â€
What if your partner who was lying in bed with you looked you straight in your face and said: â€œWhat flames? What smoke? The problem is not that bad. Go back to sleep.â€ â€¦ all the while you clearly smell your hair getting singed by the overwhelming heat of the tongues of flames that were disintegrating your headboardâ€¦ What would you do?
Yes, I overcame numerous hurdles which have developed my resilient and resourceful character, but at what cost? When is the price too high? Some fatherless children can and do go on to do awesome things. (Note: SOME!) The tragic reality which plagues a majority can no longer be ignored. Disproportionate numbers of fatherless children are the walking wounded.
Dads are quite focused on protecting their precious little princesses from unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and heartbreak caused by some silly boy. Almost every father with daughters that I know plans to purchase two items: a shotgun and a chastity belt. The shotgun is to intimidate his daughterâ€™s suitors. If the gun doesnâ€™t scare off the boys, then the chastity belt will be the next line of protection. But when it comes to their sons, many men refuse to hold them to the same standard of sexual purity.
Like I said before, I think this is a huge issue. Before I go any further I want to mention a couple of things: I donâ€™t knock any woman who makes the decision to be a single mother if she can afford to and is capable of caring for the child (a lot of women want children but donâ€™t want to wait for marriage because of their ageâ€“ I get that), but I donâ€™t think thatâ€™s the case for most black women.
Juliana Norwood, staff writer for OurWeekly IÂ personally feel that the level of baby-mama/daddy-ism is in the African American community is truly a tragedy. I completely agree that there are many different reasons why these situations occur, such as many socioeconomic factors, butÂ I believe it is far beyond the time that we start putting more weight [...]
Try to imagine yourself as a child. If you could have planned your own origins, what family would you choose? Itâ€™s almost guaranteed that youâ€™d pick a doting, father with an impeccable reputation. A protector, a man who takes care of his family, a good man. For a mother, you may pick…
Just think about it, don’t you value your unborn children? Don’t you
think your future progeny deserve to have the best life possible? So,
if you have high standards for the lives of your future children, you
should have high standards for the father of these children as well!
Isnâ€™t it interesting that the Black woman is the only woman touting her strength with pride? Why doesnâ€™t the Latino woman have to be strong? Where is the strong Asian woman? What about the strong Caucasian woman? Why does the Black woman have to be strong? Why canâ€™t she just be a woman?
This is very hard for us to talk about. Itâ€™s so hard that we have made a tough heart-wrenching situation into one to be celebrated. We wave a banner, we shout it from the mountain tops, we sing little ditties about it, and we high five each other on Fatherâ€™s Day. Single-motherhood is a hard and heavy crown to wear.
â€œI AM their father! I AM their mother! I AM all they need! They donâ€™t need that good for nothing bastard!â€ A strong black woman would shriek in my office at DCF in such a loud manner her voice could be heard bellowing through the halls. A strong black woman in corporate America was far more demure, but would display much the same mannerisms whilst explaining â€œWhat can he do for my children? He canâ€™t even maintain a job. What kind of father could he possibly be to them?â€
All I want is the coochie, I aint lookin to get married. Ladies, if you feel the same as I do, then let’s get it on and quit playin. However, if you desire to find a mate for life, giving it up every Saturday night isn’t going to win you many wife-material points. You gave up your sexuality for free, I suspect you do that for anyone with a car, drink, and a motel room.
It’s not much of a guess because the evidence is all around us. Each day we step foot outside our doors we see it. On the street. In the supermarket. In the park. On the playground. In our very own families. Women. Black women. We are the overwhelming majority of those caring for and raising black children. Alone. I ask you, family. Why?
“In my usual edgy fashion, I took it upon myself to delivery and heavy-handed message for those of you who like it hard. Just keeping it real, ya’ll! Warning: If you don’t like cussing, don’t click it!” –Tim Alexander, creator of the upcoming film “A Mother’s Love” and from the film maker who brought you “Diary of a Tired Black Man”
Why do we put more planning into our next vacation than we do in planning our families? And why are we willing to accept less than what we want when it comes to â€˜the ringâ€™? The answer- because black women are fed the â€œyouâ€™re not worthy of a good guyâ€ crap from a young age. Itâ€™s rare that black girls, in general, are made to feel special. www.tjmichaels.com
“…all of the fantastic memories over the past three years came rushing to my head. From the dirty diapers and late night feedings, to dressing up in nylon crowns and toasting plastic spoons while playing â€œtea party with the King and Princessâ€. Memories that will stay with me through her scholastic years, her endeavor into the world, and when she blesses someone with her love and begins her own family.” www.torreyspears.com
Many of us in the blogosphere (from different political persuasions) are writing in tandem about this issue as a result of the deafening silence from the media, academics, and so called â€œBlack leadersâ€ who refuse to acknowledge the pernicious psycho-social effects on children who are a product of unwed motherhood.