Many believe the “village” concept of raising a child is not working, but it cannot work if we do not “absorb foreign experiences” that will lead to our expansion as a people. Thus, there is more than one way to raise a child. As mothers and fathers, we have to create support systems to keep us sane, to nurture our children when we are absent or in addition to, to offer advice, and to create a community.
FatJuicyOyster I don’t want to write a post about the online initiative started by my girl Christelyn at Beyond Black and Whitecalled, No Wedding No Womb, which calls for women to get married before having children, and barring that being “wedded” to the two-parent raising of the child. But here goes… I can get down [...]
I am an advocate of the traditional family structure as what I consider the strongest form in which children may be raised. I thought this was a simple position to hold but being a man that is in this constant state of flux regarding the implications of his words, I immediately took issue with the word â€œtraditionalâ€
to make generalizations and through around statics without framing or contextualizing them is irresponsible and detrimental. i understand that something needs to change within us all, as a community, but sliding back into history to shame and ostracize single mothers is not the answer.
Unfortunately, over the course of the last week, the conversation grew increasingly vicious. Twitfam were getting blocked and swarmed, misconstrued and misunderstood. The vitriol came from both sides (Note to Self: Is â€œGoogle it if you want toâ€ the new â€œMeet me outsideâ€?) and none of it is fostered productive and healthy debate.
â€œ[Christelyn is] a mother of four childrenâ€“three of them biracialâ€“and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.â€ Hmmm. Now why would she need to profess to the world that three of her four children are biracial, and her husband is white?
[Note by CHRISTELYN] –> “My goal is to keep this debate honest. I don’t not wish to silence critics, but I think those who read someone’s INTERPRETATION of the NWNW movement should have the benefit of seeing both sides. I’m really, really trying to keep this fair. The conversation has gotten too important to suppress. Remember folks: If 72% of your house was burning down, would you ask for a program, argue statistics, or propose a study on how it started? If you possess the survival instinct, you would run like hell, or FIGHT like hell to put that fire out because that house means so much to you. Period.”
There are reasons besides the pushâ€™s barely masked antifeminism to be ambivalent about this whole endeavor. The movement has the stunty feel of holding funerals for â€œniggerâ€ or stomping on hip-hop CDs (â€˜member those?) with explicit lyrics; itâ€™s taken a tricky issue and reduced it to a bunch of folks being showily indignant.
I understand the spirit of what NWNW is attempting to do: restore dignity to Black women and create better living conditions for Black children. These are noble goals. However, even with evidence that married persons may have greater inroads to class mobility and a stable lifestyle and that children raised in two parent households tend to fare better than those of us raised by single parentsâ€¦marriage alone canâ€™t restore dignity to Black women or guarantee a better life for Black children. Furthermore, there is an anti-feminist moral code that is implied here that doesnâ€™t sit well with me.
Media Strut mediastrut.com For those who donâ€™t know, No Wedding No Womb is a movement started by Christelyn D. Karazin and Lorraine Spencer to encourage responsible relationships and parenting (broadly speaking). Karazin is now married but spent some time as a single mother and has stated that she wishes sheâ€™d made some different choices in [...]