A Comedian’s Take on NWNW ~ by Jacquetta Szathmari [Event Post]

A Comedian’s Take on NWNW ~ by Jacquetta Szathmari [Event Post]

Everyone is making such a big deal about this whole single-parent/out-of-wedlock “epidemic” in the black community. Apparently, 72% of all African-American children are born out of wedlock. First of all big deal and second of all get with the times—who uses phrases like “out of wedlock”.

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Everyone is making such a big deal about this whole single-parent/out-of-wedlock “epidemic” in the black community. Apparently, 72% of all African-American children are born out of wedlock. First of all big deal and second of all get with the times—who uses phrases like “out of wedlock”. This whole get married push is yet another way for bleeding heart white liberals and bourgie black folks to try to shame regular black folk into adopting the uppity middle class standards to which they so desperately cling.  Those on the far right are pushing marriage because they think it will save them money on welfare and whatnot.  To hide their racism they claim that a two-parent household has a greater capacity for wealth creation and that this creates a more stable and therefore better atmosphere for child-rearing.  Blah, blah, kids from 2-parent households do better in school, have greater self-esteem… They are just cheap and don’t want to help black folks out with any social services. We pay taxes too!

We all know that marriage is merely a societal convention used to control people and mute the progress of women, who by the way no longer need a man (or a woman—lesbians, I am looking at you. Don’t buy it). The rejection of marriage frees men up to lead more productive lives and not to be bogged down by something they did years ago when they may not have been as aware of their actions. I don’t see single fathers out there complaining about how hard their lives are and how they need help with their kids.  Can we really expect them to give more than the mandated 17%? It’s more than enough; let them do their thing.

The idea of family is completely constructed by the man to make us feel inadequate. Furthermore having a “family” is an unobtainable ideal. Modern individuals don’t have the time to look for a partner, wait and see of that relationship will work, make a commitment, and then plan to have a family. If we all did that, none of us would be here—they are trying to wipe us out. And is that really preferable to just doing what you want now and then dealing with the consequence later? It’s all about control. They complain that children from single parent households have it rough. Whatever, I know plenty of children from so-called in tact families and they are no better off. I came from a single-parent household and my father was completely absent, maybe I have seen him 2 dozen times, and I am just fine. Sure I resented him for all of my childhood and most of my adulthood—I am hoping that this will subside during this cycle of therapy—and this made it near impossible have productive relationships and to love myself, but show me someone who doesn’t have Daddy issues. I have a few friends who were raised by single moms and they never give up on trying to find their father in men they date. No matter how many times they get burned they don’t give up—they persevere. It’s admirable.

I learned a lot from not having my father around. For example, never to trust men. I mean really, you can’t trust them. A friend of mine used to say, they cut out after they pull out. True. The sooner you learn that lesson the better.  In addition, I learned to be independent. When one of the two people who is supposed to have your best interests at heart doesn’t, you get the message that the world is a cold, hard place and so you had better steel yourself for disappointment at every turn. Children should know that right out of the womb.

I was spared to trouble of having my parents as role models, which is fine since a hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich. In my case, it’s just cheese sandwich because I don’t eat meat. Anyway, I wasn’t going to look up to Mom in my teenage years, I was too angry at her for choosing my dad. I definitely wasn’t going to ask her for any relationship advice. I wisely choose instead to be withdrawn and then later got all my relationship advice from the media and my peers. Go with what you know, right.

Even though I come from the ABC school of family planning—Abortion, Birth Control, Condoms—I wholeheartedly agree sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind (I’m talking bareback) or go for that anchor baby—he might stick around. It’s a free world and you’ll be fine, your kid will get over feeling unloved, unwanted, and like a huge burden heaped onto to your obvious struggle. The kids will be made stronger people from the pain. They say that what doesn’t make you stronger can kill you. Maybe the other way around? Well, it only kills you on the inside.

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